I'm in Myrtle Beach this week with my family for a few days. While I'm here, I'll make a priority of taking my wife out for a nice date. This is not something we do occasionally, though. We do this often. Donna and I make it a priority to make time for one another.
That's why I was encouraged to see Justin Buzzard's new book Date Your Wife. Justin is a church planter in San Jose, Cali., and our paths have crossed a few times in the past. Throughout the book, Justin emphasizes the role the gospel should play in marriage. It reminded me of Erwin Lutzer's well-known phrase: "In marriage, the goal is holiness, not happiness." Happiness comes as a result of the holiness.
Justin will be hanging around the site today to answer questions and respond to comments. As a special bonus, I have three prizes to give away to commenters today-- a pair of $25 AMC Movie Theatres gift cards, and a copy of Justin's book. Just comment on the post below, ask a question, or tweet about the post to be entered in the giveaway.
What is the last foundational truth you want men who read your book to remember?
The difference maker in your marriage isn't you, it's Jesus. Jesus' presence is what changes everything, not your presence. Your exciting calling is to date your wife, to love your wife, to help your wife become her future glory-self--to help her become the woman she will one day be on the other side of the grave. But your job is not to be your wife's savior. Your wife needs only one Savior. Your wife needs only one Jesus.
You be you. And let Jesus be Jesus. Date your wife. And let Jesus save and sanctify your wife. The point of your marriage isn't you. The point of your marriage isn't your wife. The point of your marriage is to date your wife in such a way that showcases Jesus and his power to a world of husbands and wives, men and women, boys and girls, in desperate need of a God who can rescue, reconcile, restore, and redeem their broken lives. Marriage isn't ultimate. God is ultimate.
God created marriage so that we could better know and enjoy him. As we date our wives, as we experience the good, the bad, and the new in our marriages--the cycle of failure and grace and growth--we get to know what God is like. Marriage becomes a place where God shows up. We get to know a God who loved us, saw us leave, and fought to get us back. The point of marriage is the point of life: to know, enjoy, glorify, and experience our Triune God.
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